The Klog

In elementary school, each student in my class made a bookmark under the careful direction of our teacher. Were they each a unique artistic expression of the child who made it? No. They were very simple: just two columns going down, with spaces for a date and a signature.

We were to take these home every day, and our parents were to add the date and their signature when we read with them on that particular day. Then we brought the bookmark back to school to show the teacher that we had diligently practiced at home.

After a few weeks of this, my mom wrote “Krystof reads every day” on the bookmark, signed it, and never looked at it again. My teacher was amused by this, but what was she going to do? And so I showed her this bookmark every day, and every day she smiled and accepted it.

“Krystof reads every day”.

It was probably true, or at least close. My parents had a huge library that spanned most of our house growing up. There were books on huge shelves in all of the bedrooms, in my dad’s office, and in the living room. I genuinely thought we had a copy of all the books worth reading in the whole world. If someone at school recommended a specific book, I’d ask my mom, and I’d have it on my bed stand the same day or the next. If I didn’t have a specific book in mind, my mom would say she’d think about it and come back with something fun.

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When I was growing up in Czechia, there was exactly one TV channel, unimaginatively called “Czech TV”. When there was anything even remotely interesting on it, you and all your friends watched it. Later that same public broadcaster added a second channel (“Czech TV 2”), but that was more of the same, now with more soccer games. The big shift came when we finally got the first public broadcaster, TV Nova. They weren’t so tied to the old ways and introduced us to edgier American entertainment.

There are a few shows that stand out: Xena, Hercules, Renegade, Highlander. But there’s another one that made a powerful impression: Tropical Heat. Check out these intro titles:

Women in bikinis, sandy beaches, and driving around in a Jeep Wrangler with no doors (never mind a roof) - that’s what life in America was like. The protagonist, “Nick Slaughter”, always wears an unbuttoned Hawaiian shirt and solves problems with his fists. That’s what it meant to be cool.

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Twelve years after first setting foot in Japan I made it back (this time with Stephanie!), and the country and its people charmed me all over again.

We visited Tokyo, Jigokudani, Kyoto, hiked on the Kumano Kodo, finally spent a lazy few days on the Izu Peninsula. Hiking the ancient pilgrimage route on the Kumano Kodo was particularly special, so I made that a separate post, which you can find here. I’ll tell you about all the rest here.

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We hiked the Kumano Kodo!

The Kumano Kodō is a series of ancient pilgrimage routes that crisscross the Kii Peninsula. These mountainous trails are used by pilgrims to the … Three Grand Shrines of Kumano: Kumano Hongū Taisha, Kumano Nachi Taisha and Kumano Hayatama Taisha… It has been visited by pilgrims seeking healing and salvation as a site of religious significance for over a thousand years. People with backgrounds from peasants to emperors would visit the region. Wikipedia

Stephanie and I had a wonderful three-day trip along the Nakahechi Route from Hongu to Nachisan, with nights in Yunomine Onsen, Koguchi, and Nachisan.

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Hunt, Gather, Parent: What Ancient Cultures Can Teach Us About the Lost Art of Raising Happy, Helpful Little Humans
by Michaeleen Doucleff
Goodreads

Many of the things we take to be the “right” way to raise kids (at least in western civilization) are in fact contrary to how humans have been raising kids through our history. Examples of this include toys, worrying about “self-esteem”, and praising kids a lot.

In Hunt, Gather, Parent, Michaeleen Doucleff starts by showing that many of these ideas in fact originate from the times and needs of the industrial revolution, and are not particularly compatible with human nature. Instead, she seeks to understand how parenting had been in earlier times.

Towards this end, she time with three communities that practice parenting as their ancestors had for many generations: Maya, Innuit, Hadzabe. But these are not communities untouched by the modern world - they all have smart phones, and only the Hadzabe are still hunter-gatherers. Where appropriate, she links to modern scientific studies to underscore the efficacy of what she learns.

In the U.S., we feel this enormous responsibility to “optimize” our children. That often means filling their days with nonstop activities or entertainment. I sure felt this way with Rosy (sometimes I still do). This feeling places a heavy burden on our shoulders and fills our minds with an omnipresent anxiety (e.g., “Oh my gosh, what am I going to do with Rosy for the entire Saturday?”). But the feeling also supercharges our parenting — both the macro and micro. Our knee-jerk reaction is maximal interference.

But that parenting style is not the norm; quite the opposite. The picture the author presents instead is compelling - one that focuses on including the children in the family’s lives, rather than in centering the parents’ lives around the child.

This approach has several other advantages. First, it gives parents a break. Instead of having to schedule, pay for, and participate in endless child- centered activities, parents can lead their normal lives— working or relaxing— while kids follow along, learning as they go. Rather than scheduling your life around your child, you can simply put your child into your schedule. Moreover, humans likely evolved for children to learn by shadowing adults; it’s the way they’ve been learning for at least two hundred thousand years (as we’ll see in the next chapter). So for many kids, learning this way is easier and less stressful than learning through child- centered activities. And it generates less conflict and resistance.

I’m a believer. Let’s dive in to the takeaway parenting tips from the book.

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